I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
