New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
