R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
