YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
