Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
