is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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