Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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