After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
