White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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