Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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