You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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