dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
