hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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