I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
