so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
