We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
