I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
