Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize