where am i from again
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
