S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
