just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
