you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
