Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
