I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
