Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
