and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
