no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
