This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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