He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
