do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
