We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
