she takes plan B like it's going out of style
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
