I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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