this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
