peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Welp...herpes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Two words: nipple clamps
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