I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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