he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
