Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
