So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
