dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
