update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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