if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
