And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
