In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
