My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
as a side note pls kill me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
