This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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