He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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