Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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