im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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