First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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