She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
