yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
