I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
