I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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