just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
