Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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