i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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