Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
zippers are such a cool invention
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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