I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
