it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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