My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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