If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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