I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
